I don't know if this is "writer's block", but I've been trying all week to think of a blog post, and coming up blank each time. Rather than a lack of inspiration, though, it's an innate resistance to writing about how lousy I'm actually feeling. I think this comes from the well-taught lesson of "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."

I'm feeling overwhelmed with the changes at work, and the result of this overwhelm-ment (shouldn't there be a noun for that?) is an uncommon negativity that I am not enjoying one bit. Usually, I am the upbeat and positive one. I am proud of my optimism. I know it can go too far, and that's enjoyable, too. But rarely have I been in a situation where the hopeful, good feeling doesn't emerge.

Is this some kind of life transformation? Have I turned into someone who resists change and finds transitions difficult? Somehow I doubt it. I am gradually accepting and settling into my new environment. The week of the move has coincided with one of the foggiest and coldest days in San Francisco of the year. These overcast skies and brisk, 50-degree winds are such a shock to my Marin county sensibility. That, combined with the extra time on the road and the lack of aesthetic in my new work area, are surely the reason for my doldrums. Not some new personality! I'm too old to change into a curmugeon.

So, I'm looking into the past for a fun photo to post or something to remind me of other, more upbeat times. A story to tell or a sweet memory to linger over. I'm going to dig through my photo box and see if there is something that will trigger another post soon.

This entry was posted on Saturday, August 20, 2005 at 5:01 PM. You can skip to the end and leave a response.